Whilst each coach or mentor will have their own way of working that is right for them and their coachee, every practitioner should follow a process that allows for effective engagement and plans and thereby strive for best practice.
The process starts with engagement between the coach and the coachee, which is informal and can be face to face or over the telephone. This is really a checking-in process to define and understand what the coachee expects from the coaching relationship and can also involve other stakeholders such as the line manager and Human Resources department. It is our responsibility as coach to explain what coaching is and describe the process so that all parties can discuss what is involved and buy-in can be achieved.
Part of the engagement process is to ensure that the differences between coaching and mentoring, along with other possible interventions, are explained. Some of the key differences are summarised below:
The coachee has to take responsibility to recognise their own coaching need, accept the responsibility for change, agree that they are ready to move forward and exhibit the will to do so.
The next stage is to formalise the coaching relationship via a written contract, honouring the agreement between all stakeholders and agreeing clear goals and objectives. The contract will also detail such terms and conditions as the number of coaching sessions, the length of each session, the content and structure of the sessions, provision of safety and security, the level of confidentiality involved, any reporting structure, the fees and coach access details so that each party understand their role and responsibilities. Should the coaching role develop, for example into mentoring and include the provision of advice and guidance, the contract would need to be rewritten.
Alongside the contract, as coach we need to inform and provide the client / stakeholders with a copy of our code of ethics that sets out the safe environment where coaching can take place and gives manageable boundaries of the coaching relationship. These include what can and what cannot be discussed, ensures that we conduct ourselves in an appropriate and agreed manner and practice within a consistent and ethical framework. We need to ensure that the coachee feels safe in the professional relationship and that signposting arrangements are agreed to support the coachee if their needs fall outside of that relationship.
It is important that the coachee does not develop a reliance on the coach; this is different for mentors where reliance can develop. If the coach is external and recognises that this is happening, they have a responsibility to bring this to the attention of the coachee and, if it cannot be resolved, end the contract. If the coach is internal, they must be sure not to abuse their position of authority.
As coach, it is important to recognise our own value system and beliefs and to understand how these may impact on our coachee. Best coaching / mentoring practice shows that it is crucial to ensure that our own values and beliefs do not adversely affect the relationship; we need to approach the coaching relationship with an open mind and in neutral observer mode. We must also have a good awareness and understanding of the values and beliefs of the coachee and be conscious that they may have a different moral code from us. We should be supportive at all times and not judgmental of our coachee’s views, lifestyle or aspirations. Both parties must feel safe to challenge inappropriate language or behaviour.
It is crucial for coaches to develop and continually improve our communication skills as well as our skills to understand and interpret the communications we receive from others. A good coaching session should be a structured, focused conversation, not an interview or training session. It is the coachee that drives the content of the discussion and so, as coach, we need to be open minded and concentrate on listening to and questioning our coachee. The GROW (Goals – Reality – Options – Will) model works well as a basis for structuring coaching conversations.
By being present in the moment to carefully listen to and recognise the language used by the coachee, the coach should be able to interpret these and extract the true meaning of what is being said. We can then reflect that understanding by using a style of language back in our facilitative style of questioning to increase the relevance to the coachee and elicit a truer response, objectively challenging as necessary.
As coach, we need to ask for clarification of any areas of the discussion that could be ambiguous and avoid using words that are jargon to the coachee. We also need to regularly check where we are in the coaching moment by paraphrasing or summarising the discussion to improve clarity and ensure understanding.
By tracking the response to the questions we ask, we can improve our future questioning and increase our rapport with and level of trust from the coachee. ‘Push’ questioning is designed for problem solving whereas ‘pull’ questioning allows for careful listening and reflection.
Body language is key to judging how comfortable the coachee is discussing a topic and when they may need coaxing to open up more and develop their thoughts for greater clarity and understanding. This means that a coach should be confident in level three, or global, listening skills.
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